March 15, 2025
This morning I let myself be open to the Imaginal for the first time in a long time. I don’t think this will be a habit because I feel like the thing I need most is to simply hang out in a space of non-doing. A lot happened! First, I became aware of a green and yellow place. It was sort of like a verdant, sundrenched forest. The green was the green of the Green Lataifa; i.e., compassion. And the yellow was the yellow of the Yellow Lataifa; i.e., joy. It’s beautiful that a realm can embody these expressions of Essence. I brought the Black Lataifa with me because it’s the aspect of Essence that I tend to embody for reasons I don’t entirely understand. The Black seems to open doorways, maybe because it dissolves everything. Nothing can stand up to the Black. That sounds harsh but it’s actually an expression of the deep love of the Absolute. By ‘destroying’ boundaries, it brings everything together and makes transformation possible. It is so deeply mysterious. Without it, nothing would exist at all.
The Black opened a doorway into a new realm. It was a place of mass death. I don’t know exactly where it was or even what it was supposed to represent but it seemed very cold. The men–and they were all men–who had died there were armored but, whether that was actual armor or metaphorical armor, I don’t know. As I sat with these dead, I was drawn inside their armor. More Black and I found one in particular who had been reduced down to a limp, empty, black shade. He felt like jelly in my hands when I lifted him.
He saw me not as who I really am but as someone he loved platonically. Perhaps he was a soldier and I appeared as his unit commander? He responded with relief upon seeing me and began sobbing. I lifted him and cradled him in my arms, aware that the other dead around us were responding as well. Soon, I perceived them no longer as shades but as luminous seeds. Indeed, I found myself in a vast, black space that was dotted with seeds. Each one was unique. I could tell they had the potential to grow into immense and beautiful ‘trees’. I knew I was in a seed bank, the place souls return to before being called back to take root and sprout. It felt like an eternal cycle but one that wasn’t static. A seed evolved each time it took root and never returned to this place quite the same. This place was part of the cycle of life and death.
I didn’t linger very long here because I was already being called away. First, I became aware of an alien presence–alien meaning this soul wasn’t human. Gender perhaps doesn’t apply here but I’ll refer to him as a male. His form wasn’t even close to humanoid but nonetheless quite beautiful. I don’t even know how to describe him. He didn’t have any shape that fits easy description. It didn’t really matter, though. His body shimmered with blue and purple and behind him was a dragon. Well, of course, it wasn’t really a dragon but that’s how my mind perceived it. It was a great, winged mount. This warrior–I believe that’s what he was–pulled me up onto the mount and then we were off, gliding across an alien world.
The sun was parting through vaporous clouds, a glowing red orb. As we flew toward it, the sun turned into a portal into a realm of the Red Latifa. The place was also alien and didn’t resemble anything I’m familiar with but pulsed with the vigor of life. Pure strength combined with love. The dragon landed here and the warrior dismounted, stabbing his weapon into the ground. A pool of liquid red erupted from the place where his weapon had pierced. It was like blood but definitely not blood and it didn’t feel like a wound, merely an opening.
The alien warrior urged me down and knelt before the pool of red, realizing there was something inside it. I leaned forward and the Black opened to another realm, dissolving a hole in this one. I felt into this ‘hole’ but the warrior held onto my arm, keeping me balanced between the two realms.
There was another alien here, lost in blackness. I recognized it as resembling the other one who was holding me by the arm. There was a connection between these two souls, a sort of soul-bond. As I reached forward to touch this ‘lost soul,’ I ended up pulling the other alien inside with me. Both alien souls transformed as this happened, turning into glowing seeds like I’d seen at the beginning of this vision.
The black realm dissolved, opening into the Crossroads and the Woman in White was there waiting for me. I held the two seeds out to her–they shone like precious jewels–and she took them, thanking me. “I’ll take care of these later,” she said, laughing.
She was overjoyed to see me again and I felt the same way. I understand more about her and my connection to her now. When I first met her, I didn’t know anything about her, other than I felt an attraction to her. Over the years, however, I learned more and also remembered more. My connection to her goes way back and she has had numerous roles over the ‘years’ - mother, teacher, friend, sister.
I saw more of our ‘past,’ realizing that she didn’t save me so much as I saved myself. I didn’t follow the usual route of a soul and basically stayed behind, staying with her. She said, “There was nothing I could do. Every once in a great while, a soul like you comes along. It’s mysterious but I could tell you embodied the Black Essence. I had no choice but to take you in. I’m glad I did, though. I’m glad you found me.”
I feel the same way about her. I can’t really describe the depth of the feelings of love and happiness I feel when I meet her. Maybe because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her, I felt even more overjoyed today when we met.
There was still more to come, though. The Black wasn’t done with me yet.
I became aware of a hardness in my chest but knew it wasn’t my own. Curious, I stayed with it, eventually seeing a drab, symmetrical building. It felt rigid, precise and unbending. Sort of like an adobe, it was also incredibly rectilinear. There were drab walls and square windows at regular intervals. I looked into one of the windows and saw Black. As soon as I saw it, I was pulled inside.
I found myself in a sterile hospital room. There was an old man dying in a bed. His entire affect was like that building I’d seen and I realized it symbolized his ego structure. Rigid and unbending and lacking any depth. He had a feeling of being cut off from the depth and source and love of the Absolute, representing a very 21st Century, male, rational and scientific view. Men like him are a dime a dozen right now in the world.
As I approached his bed, I took his hand. He was barely alive, barely aware of my presence. He felt completely exhausted, spent, waiting for death. The Black opened up before us and I was drawn into it, finding myself beside the man’s soul as a young boy. I leaned down and cradled him in my arms. He glowed white, the white of innocence and purity. It felt like this was his essence before it had been rigidified by life.
I looked up and there was a white horse beside us. I stood and climbed onto its back, cradling the child in my arms. The horse trotted off into the blackness, eventually entering a white realm that I recognized as the Crossroads. The horse changed, too, and I slid off its back as it became a wise, old man. This man I recognized as a being like the Woman in White. I don’t have the same connection to him as I do with her and usually he seems like he’s ambivalent about my presence. This time was no exception, although I don’t take it personally.
He accepted the child from me and I saw the child was now a little baby. Wrapping the baby in a shawl, he walked off down the pathway, the great tree boughs leaning over them. Soon, they were lost in the greening darkness.
And that was basically it. I feel like these experiences have been stacking up, waiting for me to reenter the Imaginal Realm. It was a busy meditation!
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