December 30, 2024
Today was similar in some ways to a meditation I had a week or so ago. I wasn’t seeking a vision but one kept presenting itself and finally I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I don’t have a good idea what it was about so here goes.
I saw an immense drainage pipe in an underground sewer. Everything was greenish black and didn’t look healthy, as one would imagine in a sewer. I stayed with the scene and gradually found myself inside the giant drain pipe, standing in sewage. There was a coffin lying on the floor of the pipe. At first it was greenish black but then it shifted and started to glow cold blue like ice. There was something on the top of the coffin that looked like a glowing funnel. The funnel was glass but it was glowing a yellowish orange. (Yellowish orange was a common color theme for this vision as you’ll see.)
Something like a brandy snifter lay next to the funnel and I understood that I was to pour the fiery blue contents inside the funnel. As I did so, the blue liquid filled what looked like veins inside the coffin and I saw the body of a man frozen inside. I have no idea what the significance of the ice was. Was it supposed to mean that he froze to death? Or was he just frozen psychologically? Maybe he was frozen, as if in a state of suspended animation?
I assumed that the coffin lid would come off but that’s not what happened. As the blue fiery fluid filled the man’s veins, it set ablaze and soon his entire body was engulfed in yellowish orange flames. He literally incinerated before my eyes and the outline of his body left a black outline. Black. Of course, I know whenever the Black shows up in these visions, it’s the annihilating quality of the Absolute.
I, too, dissolved into the blackness. When I came to, there was an orange light emanating from above or from within my soul body, I don’t know which. Whatever the source, it allowed me to see the body of a man lying before me. I knew he was Haitian, although I have no idea why. As I knelt before him, the orange yellow glow increased and spread until a portal of yellow-orange light opened before us. On the other side of the portal, I could see the glowing bodies of the man’s ancestors come to welcome him. The place on the other side looked sort of like one would imagine heaven. Was it heaven or a transition place? Probably the latter. I am skeptical of the existence of heaven.
The man rose and joined his ancestors but he pulled me along with him. Soon, I was standing in the portal, looking out. The ancestors welcomed me as well and showered me with affection. Affection I didn’t not feel worthy of. I was uncomfortable with the role of ‘white savior’ but, more than that, I was feeling ambivalent about my role in general. Who was I to lead lost souls along on their journey? Who decided that is what I would do? Even though I’ve been doing this for four years now, it still feels like an uncomfortable role.
As I gazed out on the horizon, a yellow-orange sun broke through the clouds and I could see enormous, sinuous birds flying towards us. They were feathered but also sort of like serpents. Their plumage was fiery orange-yellow. In hindsight, I wondered if they were supposed to be phoenixes.
One landed before me and invited me onto its back. I climbed on and it flew back into the sun toward a now familiar location: A temple in the clouds where a winged lion was waiting. I’ve met this lion several times before and I suspect it is one of the guises that the male counterpart of the Woman in White takes, the other being a white stag.
The phoenix left me off at on the marble platform of the temple and I transferred to the lion. In the distance, towards the sun, I could see a glowing orange-yellow city in the clouds. The last time I’d been in this place, the city had been glowing yellow. I’m not sure what the significance of the orange was. In any event, the lion flew toward the city and let me off on a cobblestone street where I made my way to the library.
Even though the city was ostensibly different from the yellow city of two weeks ago, it was laid out the exact same way and the library looked the same, just a different color. A familiar scene played out: One of the librarians led me up the spiraling stacks of books to a low table that contained one book, a glowing yellow-orange tome. When I opened the book, it turned into a yellow-orange angel.
Had I set this angel free? Was it somehow connected to the Haitian man? Or was it there for me? Possibly the latter because it imparted one tidbit of wisdom: I’ve been feeling the darkness and heaviness of my world a lot lately and lamenting the fact that so very few people seem to be oriented inwardly. Instead, people are very materialistic and this consumption at all costs has many consequences beyond the physical world (where there are already plenty of consequences). I’ve talked here about negative karma and it feels so big, so overwhelming. Where do you start? Also, I get grumpy about being one of the few who see what is happening on more than just the surface.
The angel pointed out that I actually owe a lot to everyone in the physical world because I’m part of an overall society and one thing that society succeeded in doing was nurturing me. It allowed my soul to develop to the point where I could start paying back. These journeys are a form of payback, one I offer willingly. So, I need to thank even the most rapacious capitalist for doing his (or her, although, truthfully it’s probably a he) part to getting me here. I guess I am guilty of thinking from an American perspective and seeing the individual as supreme. The truth is that we’re a network, an ecosystem, and all parts are important. If I got here, it’s thanks to the hard work, suffering and sacrifice of many, many people.
Knowing this–or being shown this so eloquently by the angel–makes it easier for me to forgive others for the destruction they are carrying out and makes me feel better about helping them.
***
