February 27, 2024

 No Imaginal sex today for once. ;-) 


I was really planning to have a simple meditation but it didn’t work out that way. I became aware of the Black and then I realized I was surrounded by a pack of what I thought at first were black wolves. Their eyes glowed light blue, the color I have come to associate with the Land of Souls, for lack of a better name.


These weren’t wolves, though, because, while they seemed menacing at first, I soon realized they were just agitated. They appeared to be huskies which are sort of wolf-like so I can be forgiven for mistaking them. In any case, the black dogs surrounded me, barking insistently and pleading for me to follow them. 


I was still in the realm of the Absolute but it was a border region. All I had to do was look outward and I could see the edge of the realm. Up ahead was a shining blue-white beacon. It was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. One of the dogs took my wrist in his mouth and pulled me toward the beacon. As we approached, I realized it was a gorgeous pine tree. Tall and majestic, its branches were blue-white. It stood out from the other trees around it by its shining light. This tree, I understood, was serving both as a guide and a protector. It took my breath away to gaze upon it. And it certainly made me rethink my bias toward mammals. Here is a plant that was serving as a guide and a protector. Its wisdom was palpable as was its consciousness. So, people aren’t the only ones to serve this function? Very interesting.


The dogs led me to the tree. I stood before it, gently reaching out with my heart to meet it. It opened to me just as I opened to it and I was touched by its compassion and intelligence. I felt deeply humbled.


Slowly, I realized that it sheltered the body of a man who lay frozen in the snow behind it. The dogs’ excitement increased as we neared his body and, standing over him, I realized this guy was burly and young, probably in his early thirties. He wore flannel and warm clothes and had a thick beard. This was an outdoorsman for sure.


I studied his body, understanding that he died suddenly, probably from a cardiac event. Honestly, though, I don’t know how he died, other than it was sudden. I suspect the suddenness of his death and the fact he was out here alone (except for his dogs) was why he became stuck here and didn’t continue onward. This is why the dogs had dragged me here and why the tree had called me: To help him.


(Was he leading his dog sled team when he died? That seemed to be the case but I’m not positive.)


I knelt down beside him, leaning over him, until he opened his eyes. I could tell by the way he stared at me that he was seeing someone else, someone dear to him. This is pretty common.


I helped him to stand and he embraced me, wrapping his strong arms around me and sobbing.I could see my soul body was that of a woman. Was I his wife or girlfriend or mother? I soon learned that it was the latter.


“We have to go,” I whispered in his ear. “It’s time.”


He nodded, still crying, and allowed me to lead him away from the tree. I bowed one last time to the tree guide and took him into the Black. The dogs followed along with us, making this the first time I think that I’ve escorted pets through the Absolute. When we emerged on the other side, we were at the Crossroads.


Both he and the dogs had changed in the crossing. He was now a cute little baby and they were a bunch of yapping puppies. This is when I realized that he’d seen me as his mother because I was still female (very gender-bendy these Imaginal experiences!) and he was suckling on my breast. I’m not sure but I think that’s a first. I’ve been a woman or girl many times but I don’t think I’ve ever breastfed one of my charges before.


The Woman in White was standing before us and the puppies came running at her, mobbing her. She laughed when she saw me, saying, “Wow, so now you’re a mother, huh?” Reaching out, she accepted the baby from me and moved him over to her breast, commencing to feed him. With that, she turned and walked away with the puppies gamboling along behind her.


***

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction

Image
WARNING: While this blog is generally SFW, some entries contain sexually explicit/queer content. NOTE: It's best to read this blog starting with the first entry on January 3, 2021 , and then proceed chronologically. It will be a lot less confusing! I have been a student of the Diamond Approach (DA) since my mid twenties. I've dedicated my life to that path and have found it to be incredibly effective at piercing through the veil of the ego and revealing the sublime nature of reality. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, DA is a spiritual path elucidated by A.H. Almaas. It combines depth psychology with elements of Sufism and eastern mysticism. In my opinion, it's one of a handful of effective spiritual teachings. Students invariably experience release from their habitual, constructed self and delve into some deep and profound dimensions of reality. I can't do it justice in just a few sentences but you can check out the school's website here if you...
Read more

May 18, 2024 "Death's Door"

I suspected that I’d be called during this morning’s meditation. I could feel the pull of the call last night so, when I sat down today, I wasn’t surprised when I opened my ‘eyes’ and saw a curtain billowing in the night breeze. I was standing at the entrance to a formal garden. The French doors were open. I parted the curtains and stepped outside onto the terrace where I first thought the moon was rising. After a little while, though, I realized the moon was actually a gargoyle who was crouched down, hugging his knees. His body glowed silver white like the moon. He straightened as I approached and held out a clawed hand. I took it and he cradled me in his big arms, flapping his leathery wings until we were aloft over the garden. Below us was a night city, soft lights twinkling in the darkness. We flew to the edge of the city where it ran up against the sea. Then the gargoyle took flight over the sea, spreading its great wings, as we sailed over dark waters. It was quite beautiful and ...
Read more

June 8, 2024 "Remembering"

I know how crazy these entries must seem to, well, just about anyone who reads them...if anyone is reading them. I know how I would feel reading them if I didn’t have the experience to back them up. Still, I’m familiar with wild fantasies and fever dreams. I’ve certainly been guilty in my younger days of living in a fantasy world. The difference between fantasy and these experiences is that fantasy requires energy to maintain. Also, you have to keep reminding yourself of the fantasy or starts to fade and get distorted (even though it was distorted from the beginning.) For me, these experiences are quite different from fantasy. They don’t feel like inventing or wishful thinking. Instead, it’s like unlocking memories that lie tied up in my soul. I sit in meditation and don’t go anywhere, simply stay with the nothingness of my experience. Eventually, I become aware of a pattern of tension in my body, usually in the chest area, and I feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to stay with the experi...
Read more