May 20, 2023

 This morning’s visit was brief and laden with symbolism. I found myself staring at what turned out to be a knight’s breastplate. It was stained red, whether that was from blood or because it was red, I don’t know. I could tell the knight was a handsome, virile young man beneath his helmet. He didn’t appear to see me, though. Instead, he had a terrified expression on his face and was staring aghast down at his lower half. I looked down and an enormous, black toad was in the process of swallowing him whole. Wherever its mouth touched was covered in black slime.


There were strong undercurrents of sexual tension here. Not healthy tension, mind you. The knight was unwillingly turned on even as he was being devoured. Soon, the toad had eaten him whole and I followed him down into its stomach which was a vast, dark cavern. The knight’s entire body was covered in black slime and it proceeded to transform him. Again, there was a sexual charge but it was twisted.


Slowly, as his naked body began to emerge from the slime, I saw that he had transformed into a young boy, probably no more than twelve or thirteen years old. He was naked and terrified and ashamed and also turned on. I realized that I was invisible to him and he thought he was completely alone.


There was an icy blue glow emanating from the far end of the cavern and he stumbled toward it, entering into an icy hall of mirrors of sorts. It was frigid and he was cold. He continued forward with me following behind him. Eventually, he entered an icy chamber with a frozen throne in the center. On the throne was an ice troll, a hideous beast with warty skin and a huge erection. Interestingly, I noted a resemblance between the toad that had been swallowing the knight and this troll.


Even though I was invisible to the boy, the troll could see me and, as soon as he laid eyes upon me, his icy skin crumbled and his body disintegrated. In its blue ice core was a human infant. I plucked the infant out of the ice and carried him with me. A new, bright opening appeared in the ice cavern and brilliant white light streamed inside. I took the boy by the hand and led him and the infant out of the cave. Waiting at the entrance for us was a familiar figure: The Woman in White. She met us and, lifting the baby from my arms, took him and the boy away.


At the end, I was left alone, gazing out on the white realm that has been such a frequent part of my journeys recently. I have no idea what to make of the realm. Why does it feature so prevalently? What is its significance? It’s beautiful but also more than a little weird. I mean, why is everything–literally, everything–white? It wouldn’t be my first choice if I were going to chose a realm.


As for the meaning of this experience, I’ll give you my take which could or could not be accurate. I think the man in armor had been sexually abused as a pre-teen, probably by an older male relative, perhaps his grandfather. In this vision, he regressed back to the age when the abuse happened. The ice troll was clearly the perpetrator, which is why he appeared as monstrous and oversexed and why the pre-teen boy was terrified of him. My understanding is the baby that emerged when the ice troll fractured is the perpetrator reverted to an innocent state. Perhaps his bad ‘karma’ has been erased and now he can begin anew?


Was the boy/knight alive or dead? I have no idea but it would seem like he might be dead, given that he encountered the Woman in White. Generally, she appears to guide the souls of the deceased on to the next phase of their journey. There was the blackness and the devouring toad after all and blackness tends to represent part of death. Who knows, though? It seems like a number of the beings I’ve met recently have still been embodied. Maybe he is as well?


***

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